Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I hate it when I find myself here.
I despise it
this walk in shame
an orphan who resists the attachment
Hurling into the cavern of doubt

I know who my Papa is, I know he calls me daughter and yet...
I still cling to my roots of fear
Deserving of no good gift myself.
I spew hate and judgement in my mind like a venom that cuts and wounds my heart and clears the relationship to the ground.

Ahhhh....healing grace.
Pray that you fall freely on me tonight.
I long for the touch of truth that rushes hope to me.
The dreams I suppress, hopes and dreams you give yet I push away in rejection of things that may cause uncertainty,
the hope that can twirl like a little girl in a great dress...

Grateful, for the chance.
Thankful that it's not a feeling
It's just an unabashed truth...


Barb said...

Oh, Rachel, I love this! Praying for Papa's grace to wash over you! XOXO

rainydaymichele said...

Echoing Barbs thoughts, Rachel! And I have dealt with fear issues for several months too. That is what led to my word(s)of the year: Courage and Action. I want to walk and LIVE in the unabashed truth too, my dear friend.:)

Love you~

Leslie said...

This is beautiful friend. Praying for you now as you face many unknowns that you would KNOW God is there. He is leading. He is holding you. He is loving you and walking before you!