fear...

I hate it when I find myself here.

I despise it

this walk in shame

an orphan who resists the attachment

Hurling into the cavern of doubt

I know who my Papa is, I know he calls me daughter and yet...

I still cling to my roots of fear

Deserving of no good gift myself.

I spew hate and judgement in my mind like a venom that cuts and wounds my heart and clears the relationship to the ground.

Ahhhh....healing grace.

Pray that you fall freely on me tonight.

I long for the touch of truth that rushes hope to me.

The dreams I suppress, hopes and dreams you give yet I push away in rejection of things that may cause uncertainty,

the hope that can twirl like a little girl in a great dress...

Grateful, for the chance.

Thankful that it's not a feeling

It's just an unabashed truth...

Our song...

These are dear friends! I am so happy to hear them finally! Just wanted to share with you all too!

It's all about surrender. All of it.

I have had a very disgruntled week. I swing from hopelessness to depression. I want to run and let the wind blow in my hair and I want to breath in the new....but I feel so stuck here. I feel like I am walking around in old rags that will never let me go. It's about resistance, it's about longing, and it's about leaving all my ideas behind. It calls out to me from a deep river rushing past...inviting me to swim in the cool water and feel baptized.

To let go, release all the tension that is surrounded with control and let my guard down to bask in the grace and joy that is right there. I FIGHT it so hard though....

Ultimately It's all about surrender. It's all about laying down in the grass and letting my hands fall open. It's about looking up at the stars in the dark night with a chill and knowing there is more that I have not touched. It causes my soul to arch up, twist and wretch to fight all the fears. To fight hard that which would declare my own insecurities. I beat my chest and cry for mercy. For time to breath....

Time to breath....and knowing that that freedom will come...that my Papa knows my hearts cry. Knows it deeper then I let myself go with it. And there, that is where all I can do is trust.

Come like you promised Lord....

It's times like this that all I can do is sing this....



Be blessed,

Functional Design...

This is from the the Box Car Children, chapter 2. The girls has a blast working on this!

Just one of those...

Special blogs! :) This is a fantastic blog that has SO blessed me recently. I wanted to share it with all of you too! I know it's on homeschooling, but there are some great ideas of connecting with our children wether they homeschool or public school.

Enjoy!

How to Amuse Them Today!

GERMS! Oh my!

This week the big girls are reading Box Car Children and Maggie is rowing Madeline. I was very happy that both were talking about germs the same week! So to kick the gross factor off first thing, we started with this experiment.

We started with covering our hands with lotion. As I then added one color of glitter to each girls hands they proceeded to try and get the glitter off. They noticed how quickly the "germs" spread on their hands and how fast they each got each others germs on each other! They also noticed how it didn't come off with just water, but how well it rinsed right off with soap! BRILLIANT! ;)

It was a great lesson for our second day of school! :)

First Day of School!

Well, I know we are quite early compared to the public system, but I wanted to get a jump on this year so we could take more time off in the fall when the weather is nicer. It's really hot right now.

After much thought on how we wanted to start the day, we always start with a fun breakfast, we decided on strawberry shortcake! It was a huge hit and a great way to start the day.

So this year I have a 5th grader, a 4th grader and Maggie is in 1st! How, on EARTH did they get this big I'm not sure, but they are sure growing up fast.

I'll give you a brief run down on all that they will be doing!

Chloe

Beyond Five in a Row

Life of Fred Fractions

Wordly Wise 4 (first half of year)

Jr. Analytical Grammar (second half of year)

Natural Speller

and a TON of independent reading. :)

Riley

Beyond Five in a Row with Chloe

Life of Fred Fractions

Wordly Wise 3 (first half of year)

Jr. Analytical Grammar (second half of year)

Italic handwriting

Rod and Staff Spelling

And like her sister a ton of reading!

Maggie

Five in a Row vol 1

Italic handwriting

Rod and Staff Math grade 1

and working on our reading

Along with this we have a co-op that will meet once a week to go through the Apologia Science Zoology 1, Fly Creatures. Maggie and Riley are going to start dance, and Chloe will keep working on the piano with Shawn. I am hoping to throw a foreign language in there yet, but we will see!

It was a fantastic first day! The girls breezed through their work really quickly (I don't know how they get it all done so fast!) and we all enjoyed hanging out around the table together. I am so thankful for the opportunity to homeschool them again this year. It is such a gift.

Lost in the yard~

I was taking the dog out the other day, and saw this guy crossing the street! I tossed Oreo back in the house, and ran out to stop traffic till he was safely across! My, he was really big, the size of a dinner plate! After a talk with the neighbor and a nature friend or two, we concluded that it was a snapping turtle. Interesting as we have no pond nearby for someone this large! The park across the street does have a very small stream, but nothing to sustain something this large. Our theory is that he must have been living in the culvert under the street and popped up looking for a better feeding spot.

Interesting all the critters we get living in the city! So far a raccoon, opossum, ground hog and now a turtle! I'm very thankful we still get some wild life.

Vacation Out West!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Piano time!

Chloe has fallen in love with the piano, and I am so excited for her! It is very much a Chloe and Daddy thing....

Chloe the baker!

Today Chloe, Shawn's mom, and I made healthy cookies! Chloe loves to bake. We found the recipe online and I admit I was skeptical at first. Boy was I in for a surprise! This are fabulous! Seriously, one of the best cookies ever! You can see the recipe here!

Forth of July!

We headed to Black Mountain with Shawn's family to see the fire works and enjoy the street festivile! The kids had a great time. We went early and had dinner together as a family first. Then we headed with Shawn's parents and Sister Sonia and her family to get ice cream! This is Berkeley waiting for her ice cream! The girls tongues turned blue from their superman ice cream! Last pic is the girls on the roof of the van to watch the fireworks. None of them made it up there the whole time. It was just to freaky for them! LOL!

Jordon...

This is Colin's big brother Jordon. Another "big brother" to the girls! We are happy to have him home for the summer, as he goes to school in Whales. We will all cry when he heads back in the next month! Riley and Jordon are enjoying watching tv together at group. Ahhh...so sweet!

Colin

We have a dear friend Colin in our group that we all just love to hang out with. (we love the rest of the family too!) Colin has been spending sometime with us this summer and it's been so much fun! He is like a big brother to the girls and a nephew to me. Everywhere we go people think he is mine, so it's a big joke with us now when people ask! Just a few pics from some fun at the pool and a time of reading together.

Just our frogs getting friendly! I though it was so sweet that they were touching noses I had to take a picture! We have added some new lizards to the tank, and since then these two seem to be extra close. So sweet! I will have to post pics of the lizards later!

My heart right now..

This song has been hitting me all week. Here are the words, and a poor video. I HIGHLY recommend getting it from ITunes, with the song, Oh God, Where are you Now, laying on the floor and basking....the journey to hope.

I always knew you
In your mothers arms
I have called your name
I have an idea
Placed in your mind
To be a better man
I've made a crown for you
Put it in your room
And when the bridegroom comes
There will be noise
There will be glad
And a perfect bed
And when you write a poem
I know the words
I know the sounds
Before you write it down
When you wear your clothes
I wear them too
I wear your shoes
And your jacket too
I always knew you
In your mothers arms
I have called you son
I've made amends
Between father and son
Or, if you haven't one
Rest in my arms
Sleep in my bed
There is a design
To what I did and said

Five in a row friends!

These are dear friends from the homeschool message board! We got to have some fun together in Gatlinburg for a few days and it was just wonderful! There were 2 of us from Asheville, 2 from Atlanta, 1 from West Virginia and one flew in from California! We had so much fun, 6 moms and 14 kids! What a blast!

Graduation!

Well, I finally did it! I am so happy that it's all finally done. I am really proud of myself for finishing something I started, and finishing strong. It was a fantastic day with my family and close friends! These are the people who walked with me every step of the way and I couldn't have done it without them.

Thanks everyone for helping make this day so special and for all the support the last 2 years!

Love you all!

A party!

Just a few pics of the celebration!

The Opera!

This morning we got to go to our first Opera! Elixir of Love was put on by the Asheville Lyric Opera and we had a great time! It was so fun to see the girls responses to the high sopranos and the funny tenor! Maggie was even lip syncing for while and it was just to cute! I will defiantly have to stay on top of their next performances. I was sad that I missed so many of their shows this year, but SO thankful that we have the opportunity for this in our area! Here are a few pics...the one of me taken by Heather! :)

Friends!

Every once in awhile a friend from the FIAR board comes though town and Heather and I get to hang out for awhile in real life with some of our imaginary friends. This Friday Scarlett and her family were coming through for a family gathering and I was SO blessed to get to hang out with her and her family at the Nature Center and then to have some ladies time in the evening downtown! Needless to say we had a blast! Here are a few fun pics from out time together.

Garden update!

Well, I just wanted to show you what has come up from my seeds! I am very excited as it is all doing so well. The seeds inside are doing well. I had to take the zucchini out and move them outside! I don't quite know what I was thinking planting 36 of them, but there will be enough to share for sure! Outside my collards, swiss chard, garlic and lettuce are all doing great!

I am concerned as my neighbor has seen a ground hog in his yard, as well as a possum and raccoon! Last year the ground hog wiped out my garden, took it all the to ground in 1 night. I was SO sad! :( I am hoping we get this one before he discovers my greens!

Just wanted to update the progress! I am hoping to work on the bigger beds this weekend. I am also working on a stick fence entrance for the side of the house. I will post pics as I get it done!

Hope you all are enjoying spring!

We have had a great week! My Grandma (mom's mom) and my Aunt Jane (mom's oldest sister) came on Monday night to be with us for a few days. It was wonderful because Grandma just turned 88 this past week and I didn't get to the family birthday party, so we took her out to lunch. We always have such a great time together and the girls just LOVE to have them too. :) So this morning before they had to take off for Ohio I snapped a quick pic at the breakfast table.

Bless the Lord, Happy Easter Everyone!

Sigh, it felt like home...

I found this store in Fairview, a small town just a few minute away. I can't believe that I haven't made it there sooner, Troyer's Country Store!

I walked in and thought I had landed back in Lancaster! LOL! Imagine my surprise when I learned after several moments of talking with the owner that he is friends with my Dad and knew my Mom. He was at her funeral. I have to say that it felt really good to find those connections. You take them for granted when you don't live somewhere like Lancaster. I admit, in PA it could feel stifling, but to find it again was like a warm blanket. The girls were very excited to find someone who knew Grandma! They were totally into the connection and it was special to share it with them. :)

SO, if you are in the area you MUST check them out! Absolutely amazing! Their wet bottom shoe fly muffins were to die for, and their Chocolate cheddar cheese! OH MY!!! Make sure to check out their organic chicken too!

Don't you just love...

Don't you just love this old movie!? :) Chloe loves it as much as I did back when I was young. I remember watching it with my parents and finding the whole thing so romantic, watching that boy ride over the cliff as the others stood around and watched! I love that my girl is growing up and loves to hang out! :) Wait till she sees Return to Snowy River! :D

Light-Up Sheep Art - Watch more Funny Videos

My little plants growing!

I am so excited for spring! :) Here is the sad and funny part...I forgot to label 4 of the five planters...so like myself I had to laugh! I think I am slowly figuring out what is what...but if I have broccoli in my herb garden, and herbs where my tomatoes are to go, I'll not be surprised! LOL! I already have my garlic, collard greens, butter head lettuce, and swiss chard in the ground outside. I am hoping to get my peas in today. I know, I am late on those but I only have so many days of nice weather to prepare the soil.

Have a great day everyone!

Wow, how quickly the time flies! I've been very remiss in keeping you all posted. I'm going to try and catch up! But to get started, I wanted to share a picture of Maggie's new glasses... :) They make me smile... :)